Hammer House of Horror- Cult TV Series Review

I have been a film aficionado for a long time. My father brought me up on classics like David Lean's adaptations of Oliver Twist and Great Expectations as well as the various black and white classic comedies of Charlie Chaplin and Laurel and Hardy. However I became interested in cult TV series and films whilst attending university. Our campus was media-centered and as a result it had a huge catalogue of videos to rent, free of charge. I ploughed through many often taking the maximum 8 out at a time and consumed them voraciously. As a result I believe that I am quite literate in films and TV but the series that really attracts me are the more offbeat curios.

I've explained my love for old creepy films here before and it is in this vein that I wanted to explore Hammer House of Horror, the 13 episode anthology series which was shown on ITV in the early 80s. I had never seen the series before so thought I'd dive in. What intrigued me was how the 50 minute short films were shot in the style of the times rather than the usual Hammer fare that had been famed over the previous couple of decades. The provinciality of it all recalls Minder or the kitchen sink melodrama Play for the Day rather than glamourous Dracula, Twins of Evil or the more desperately lustier affairs that precipitated the studio going into receivership.

The series was the idea of Roy Skeggs and he wanted to create a grittier, more realistic (and cheaper) horror that blended slice of life with the supernatural or eerie, a modern gothic if you will. Local problems for local people. The result is an interesting time capsule that captures the fashion, sensibilities, technology and dour mood of the time. By doing away with the 'genre crap' that Hammer had helped to create and codify, it prevents the series from being the usual campfire stories or folklore and turns it more into urban legends or friends of friend tales- a much more horrifying prospect as there were definite social messaging contained upon it's release in the early 80s.

The series tweaks the 'tenets of genre' to create something all together more interesting. Anyways, here are my thoughts on the individual episodes:

Witching Time
On a dark and stormy night, whilst home alone, married man David finds a beautiful woman in his barn claiming to a witch from the 17th century. Thinking her a kooky eccentric, he humours her before locking her in a room and calling for a doctor.
Upon arriving, the witch disappears and the doctor thinks David is overworked and hallucinating. He gives him some stronger pills but the witch comes back and starts to wreak havok upon him and his returning wife. Things quickly go downhill as we don't know if David is self-sabotaging or if there actually is a witch who has a hold of him.

This is an interesting episode as it is quite meta in that David is the sound mixer for horror films and he is being haunted himself. The slow deterioration of his mental health as the witch takes hold is interesting to see. It's a pretty solid episode and had me intrigued throughout.

The Thirteenth Reunion
When a new dieting clinic seems to be getting astonishing results, a roving reporter goes undercover to investigate the secret of their success. She sees a tough love affair where people are insulted into 'thinking themselves thin'. She bonds with a fellow 'fatty' but when he unexpectedly dies after a road accident her suspicions are raised as this seems to be happening quite regularly.

This episode goes some places and what I initially thought of as some body harvesting scam definitely ends up something much more sinister and weird. The tension is cranked up all the way through and the ending is not what I expected at all.

Rude Awakening
When an estate agent is given a property to put up for sale, he visits it but gets more than he bargained for when the manor is a state of ruin. What follows is a weird mystery about a recurring nightmare and whether the agent is losing his mind or maybe his subconscious is suffering from guilt from the murder of his wife.

Denholm Elliot shines as a cocky cockney everyman estate agent who ends up getting himself caught up in a bit of a mess when visiting the property. He plays it well, sliming it up with his young secretary in various states of fantasy attire as he tries to work out what is going on. The ending is typically dark and catches you off guard as dreams and reality merge.

Growing Pains
A young boy dies after trying some of the growth formula that his research scientist father is using on rabbits to end world hunger. A short while later, the parents adopt an orphan who has a rabbit toy and an interesting personality. When visions of the dead son appear and the pet dog starts to behave strangely, the parents question their sanity.

This is a quirky episode as the boy who eats the medicine is dopey. I mean, who goes into their father's scientific lab and scoffs strange liquids and powders from a random jar on a shelf? The boy is about 10 years old so should definitely know better. Anyways, the replacement boy plays a slightly creepy role well and the setup is intriguing. The story goes place you would not think it would go and that keeps you on your toes.

The House That Bled to Death
When a young couple and their daughter move into a house, little do they suspect that their house was the scene of a gruesome murder some years ago. As they try to bed in, unsettling things seem to be happening around them... almost as if the house wanted revenge.

This is a solid episode with lots of shocks and scares as the tension slowly escalates. The blood flows generously but, once again, the episode goes to a different place.

Charlie Boy
When a friend dies, a photographer and his friends get a chance to rifle through his things and take souvenirs home. When the photographer takes an African fetish doll, known for being used in witchcraft, people start to die. Will he make it in time before his wife and he succumb to its dark power.

This is a great episode about the power we give objects. Is it the fetish or is it the paranoia and coincidence of it all? This episode is great and it was wonderful to see the young familiar face of Angela Bruce as the wife of the photographer. The relationship between the interracial couple was loving and they treated each other like equals which was surprisingly more sensitive than what I have been used to from shows from that era. Fair play to the show for doing that.

The Silent Scream
When a habitual petty thief is released after two years inside, he finds a job at a local petshop run by Peter Cushing. When tasked with feeding the trained exotic animals he keeps at the back whilst he's away, the thief tries to open a safe and is caged. Will his wife help him get out or will the thief be trained to curb his thieving ways.

Cushing is excellent in his role as a mad scientist who looks at creating a prison without walls. He is seemingly sane and his idea has merit in principle but at what cost to civil liberties and freedom?

Children of the Full Moon

After their car careens out of control, a young couple find themselves out in the sticks in the late afternoon. They find refuge in a creepy old country house in the care of an old lady and loads of orphan children. As the night draws in, the sound of wolves can be heard and the children start to act strangely. Whatever can it all mean?

This is a great episode with Diane Dors camping it up as the old lady of the creepy manor house. This is considered one of classics of the series and is so highly regarded due to the gothic feel of the mansion, creepy woods and quite good makeup work.

The Carpathian Eagle
When a series of men are murdered, with their hearts ripped out, an old legend seems to be bubbling to the surface. A police officer and a murder-mystery author try to get to the bottom of the serial killers crimes on this short thriller.

The central conceit of this episode is great as it plays out like a crime procuderal but has the obvious supernatural elements, much like Kolchak: The Night Stalker. This episode was a firm favourite of mine as there is a great central mystery.

Guardian of the Abyss
When an antique dealer comes across a scrying glass his world is turned upside down as satanists and an escaped sacrificial victim cross his path. When his scrying glass- which may have been Dr Dee's original one- is stolen, he goes on a hunt to find it and save the glamourous sacrifice at the same time.

It's an intriguing episode as the poor guy just wants to flip the item to get some moolah but he's caught up in a demonic mess involving Enochian, Choronzon and Aleister Crowley. Fascinating stuff with a dramatic and powerful ending.

Visitor from the Grave
When a rapist is killed by his prospective victim, his body is concealed to hide the crime. However, as she struggles to reconcile her life  with the crime she slowly starts to unravel as she sees the face of the rapist in her everyday life. Maybe a Swami from India can help, for a high fee of course.

This is a slow burn episode as the action happens right at the beginning and it's all about the trauma and unravelling as the victim goes all swiveleyed and anxious. This episode is not very sensitive at all but it isn't as egregious as much other media from the time- the portrayal of a woman who has gone through a traumatic experience isn't very sensitively handled whilst the brown face of the Swami is pretty racist but this was par of the course for the time and should be considered through those optics. Thank gosh things have moved on somewhat and we live in more enlightened times.

The Two Faces of Evil
When a family on a country drive pick up a hitchhiker during a storm it doesn't go well as he attacks the family. Waking up in a hospital the family try to get back to normal but life is forever changed. The question is: has the hitchhiker gone for good?

This is an excellent episode as the sense of  claustrophobia is achieved through tight and unusually low camera angles. It disorients you as you watch the episode and even the staff at the hospital look sinister from that angle. It's quite an achievement on such a low budget. The concept of a doppelganger is intriguingly covered in this episode and the chase at the end suitably dramatic.

The Mark of Satan
When a novice who works in a morgue is accidently pricked with the bloody neddle of a corpse who claimed to have been protecting his soul through self-drill applied trepanning, he undergoes an interesting transformation. He starts seeing patterns everywhere and is worried that there is a conspiracy against him.

I liked this episode as the number 9 is a recurring motif and occurs frequently throughout. I wonder if the creators of Inside Number 9 were inspired by this particular episode as they do cite this series as a foundational text within their ouvre.

Overall, I really enjoyed this anthology series. I can see how it has influenced many shows including Inside Number 9, Black Mirror, The League of Gentlemen and The Mighty Boosh. It's a quirky series that looks at the evil that lurks beneath the normal veneer of polite (and not so polite) society.

The series can be pretty bleak and I think a lot of it is to do with the way it represents an empire in decline. Britain held much of the world in its grasp for hundreds of years and the stripping away of this worried much of society. This anxiety brought fears of class, eugenics and 'replacement theory' to the fore- maybe that's why so many of the shows of the time are to do with class, a structure that very much exists in Britain but many will deny whilst claiming that we live in a meritocracy. Looking at the sorry state of current politics puts paid to this veneer as vestiges of this illusion are removed-as  it was in the 80s when this show was create and aired.

The cultural vandalism, misappropriation and bastardising of certain principles, values and societal narratives are things that happen all the time. One only has to look at social media with its 'the way things were' photographs of yesteryear to see the guise of nostalgia wrapped in right wing anemoia. Read the comments to see the vitriol spewing forth. This show looks at the worries and concerns from the time and amplifies them through the lens of horror.

It Was The Time of the Seasons/Series

Back in the day, before satellite telly and streaming services, there were only 4 channels on British television; BBC 1, BBC 2, ITV and Channel 4. There were films available on VHS for rental and this was important as films often took a few years to reach terrestrial TV. You'd know films would be arriving soon on the channel as they'd advertise the blooming heck out of it, often several months before it would be shown. The sense of collective excitement was palpable in the playground when a big movie had been shown the previous night and everyone would role play or act out their favourite scenes from the movie. A hugely formative film was The Goonies as, when that was shown on telly on a school night, it was all anyone would talk about the next day. The showings of these formative movies were few and far between though and so we'd savour these shining moments between repeats of old variety shows and stuffy documentaries.

However, there were magical times when someone at the channels would clock on that by running special seasons of themed movies or shows they'd have a repeat viewership.

As a child of the 80s, there'd always be the Summer block of cartoons with The Raccoons, Mysterious Cities of Gold, Belle and Sebastian and Around the World in 80 Days with Willie Fogg. These were halcyon days when the Summer seemed to stretch on forever and there seemed to be a world of endless possibilities, after the 4 hours of early morning cartoons, of course!

However, away from the 6 weeks holiday animation bliss, the most memorable staple of my childhood would be the Bond Season. For most of my childhood, without fail, ITV would show the movies in a weekly run on Wednesday evenings. Other seasons would be the Carry On films on ITV, The Laurel and Hardy seasons on BBC 2, the Ray Harryhausen collection on BBC1 and the swords and sandals epics of Ben Hur, The 10 Commandments, The Greatest Story Ever Told on Channel 4 around Easter time. Then, in the mid-90s, the manga and anime season on late night Channel 4 really upped the ante on edgy late night entertainment. With the prevalence of Sky TV I remember late night Bravo having an amazing season of Hammer Horror in the late 90s/ early 2000s with classics like The Witch Finder General, Masque of the Red Death and other classic Vincent Price, Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee films showing.

I have a lot of affection for this time as it was very formative for me. It introduced a lot of new actors, films and genres that I had never experienced before and broadened my horizons on what entertainment could mean. This was very much the epitome of appointment television as VHS recorders were a fickle and arcane piece of technology, one where I could watch films just fine but getting it to record at a scheduled time was a matter of luck. In this day of convenience and streaming, there is something to be said for the collective watching at an appointed time for media, something that only really exists in the world of sport. Don’t get me wrong, we have been going through a golden age of television and I wouldn’t want to go back to past televisual practices but it’s interesting to see the evolution of television, films and how there is channel drift.

LINK- Stonehenge Exhibition at the British Museum Website

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LINK: Let’s All Create a ‘New Normal’.

T-Bag and the Pearls of Wisdom- Cult TV Series Review

I was ill a couple of weeks ago, nothing serious mind you, but I was having some strange fever dreams. Suddenly, a few images came to mind; some pearls, a tea pot, some theatre style backgrounds and a weird witch with a strange cadence to her voice. Waking up I tried to make sense of it all and realised that I'd been dreaming about a television programme from my youth. Yup, I'd been dreaming about T-Bag and the Pearls of Wisdom.

I loved the show as a kid and it was an enjoyable watch even now

I hadn't thought about the show for many years and, looking back with hindsight, it's a strange show now and was weirder even in my youth. The tale of a magic teapot, a tea plant that grants powers, a boy names T.Shirt who works in an old junk shop and is her tea caddy and a little girl seeking various macguffins over a myriad of Mario World locations is a strange story but it was all so... enjoyable.

Researching it, I found that there were 9 series and 4 specials but Pearls of Wisdom (series 5 I think) was the one I remembered the most as it had the girl I remembered and saw years later in sitcom The Upper Hand, Kellie Bright. However there were a few beforehand with a different protagonist and antagonist but the story was much the same, just a different macguffin to collect.

I looked for it online and saw that some kind soul had put the entire series on YouTube. Watching it over the course of the day, I have to say that I found the whole thing wonderfully nostalgic but also highly entertaining in a pantomime kind of way. The jokes about the flea circus, 'mind the cat', broken mirror curses, 'hopping mad', are all very cheesy and sweet in just the right way. The show is cheaply made but the matt art paintings are beautiful and the theatre style broad acting was immediately intriguing. The new setting each week kept the show fresh and interesting and watching in one go I loved the set dressing and costumes.

Over the several episodes we see Sally travel to the Wild West, Scotland, Victorian England, 1800s century British navy ship, Ancient Egypt, Merry England and Beau Geste era Morocco. It's pretty much a fetch quest in that she wants the pearls but has to jump through some hoops to get them in a fair and ethical manner.

It's a very British show as I don't think any other country would get away with so many tea based puns but it's wholesome, gentle and very 80s/ early 90s . Finding out about the actors I could see that they hailed from my part of the woods with T-shirt coming from Barking (my neck of the woods) , T-bag from Ilford and Sally from Brentwood... all very local.

I'm much better now and back at work but if I tried to explain to someone who hadn't seen the show or heard of it the premise, I think they'd still think I was unwell and fevered.