One Month On From Social Distancing In Saudi

April 7, 2020

So, it's been precisely a month since our school closed and we have transferred to Distance Learning. Like a lot of the world, we've had to transition from recommended reduced socialisation to pretty much full-on lockdown. This has been a challenge as we have our kids at home with us whilst we continue to plan, mark and host office hours via Google Meet Up. It's been an interesting past few weeks for sure and in that time I've realised some interesting things:

It’s hammock time! Can’t touch this… or anyone in fact due to Corona Social Distancing.

- let me preface this early; I love my kids, I really do, but boy are they annoying and weird. They wake up extra early, demand a lot of attention and don't settle down to sleep at night… y’know, typical kid behaviour! Now I know that some people will be upset with me for saying my kids are annoying but to be honest, all kids are annoying. I love kids, otherwise I wouldn't be a teacher, but they need stimulation and socialisation and when they can't have either they play up, it's just a fact.

- Again, let me preface this early ; I love my wife, I really do, but she is annoying and weird too. Obviously, we've lived together since we've been married, which is about 9 years, but we've had our own space daily what with going to work, hanging out with friends etc but when it's so intense 24/7 for 4 weeks + it's going to get annoying no matter who you're with. Of course my wife wouldn't say that same about me because my mum says I'm perfect and my mum isn't a liar.

- Distance Learning is hard. For those not in the know, Distance Learning is providing lessons and plans for the children and parents to access at home via the internet. This sounds great in principle as it means the children are not missing out on their learning, it gives parents something to do with their little ones during the looong days and as teachers, we can provide feedback and support. What's not to like?
Well, the amount of work schools are providing is swamping most parents. A lot of the concepts taught are going way over the kids' head as our video tutorials are supposed to be brief and on point, about 5 to 10 minutes, but when you are teaching a session on something as complex as weather, climate and natural disasters and you have very limited time, explaining the concepts and tasks becomes extremely difficult. Factor in that the Distance Learning timetable has meant that the amount of lessons are squeezed and you’ve got some incredibly dense lessons as you’re trying to throw in all the specific learning objectives for the unit. It’s a logistical nightmare and I worry that parents think I’m a crazy teacher who overplans to the hilt.

Also, throw in the fact that we are expected to do assessments and reports based on the work and it's a heady cocktail of work and confusion. Now don't get me wrong, I've seen some of my pupils thrive and continue to produce the high calibre work they did in school whilst others have grown as this is the kind of learning they like and I can see a marked improvement in their output, however there are others, who were very capable in class, who have produced very little at home due to distractions and other factors I’m sure. I've also had some of my Year 3 (grade 2) pupils produce work that is amazing, in fact it's so impressive that their handwriting has completely changed and their spelling is MENSA level. So either they've undergone a Flowers for Algernon style transformation and tapped into their higher consciousness and unleashed their full potential or they've been *heavily* supported by their parents.

- I've never spent so much time in the garden in my life. What with the country pretty much on lockdown, compound facilities closed (including the spa, pool and parks) and movement prohibited for most of the day, we've had to find our own forms of entertainment. The streaming services are fine but we feel guilty if we give our kids too much screen time. So, we've purchased a hammock, paddling pool, a barbecue, and lots of other paraphernalia for the garden and we are loving it as we are topping up vitamin D. On the down side, it is going to be Summer soon and temperatures hit about 40 degrees centigrade so there is only a small window of time. After that, we’ll be housebound.

- I'm devouring news feeds like no-ones business. I check the daily infection and death toll on the BBC, watch the Daily Show's take on the previous day's events and then balance it out by reading the right winged Spiked articles that talk about individualism and freedom but don't offer any solutions to this ongoing pandemic.

- People are creative and resourceful when there are restrictions placed on them. Historically, during times of hardship and economic crises, economy of design due to costs and other restrictions (in this case, availability of resources, access to space and other people) has led to a flourishing of creativity. The videos, memes, songs etc created during the past few weeks shows that necessity to entertain and fight boredom is indeed the mother of invention.

- Access to the Internet is not a luxury as many avocado and Millenial-hating boomers would state but a necessity; it is an essential utility. Okay it's no gas, electricity or water but imagine being stuck at home without being able to Facetime, WhatsApp or phone friends and family. Unthinkable for many. But even more essentially, imagine not being able to use the Amazon Prime or Netflix streaming services, download new games, listen to podcasts or Audible books. It like the worst case scenario of when you go caravaning or camping and there's no board games, books etc available so you have to resort to charades and other forms of savagery.

- People are weird. We see the best of people as they rise up to support each other and create an idea of the big society. Essential and key workers have risked infection to ensure that people are cared for and services continue. It's all very stirring stuff, but then we also have people who hoard bog roll and hand sanitisers so swings and roundabouts eh?

So, with one month down and no end in sight I wonder what awaits the world. I’m an optimist though and think things’ll calm down soon enough. Let’s wait and see eh?

LINK- Life in Coronavirus Lockdown Saudi

LINK- Life in the Times of the Coronavirus

LINK- Bahrain II: The Revenge

LINK- The Further Adventures of Anjum of Arabia in Saudi

LINK- High Tea and High Times in the Riyadh Globe

LINK- Reflecting on Life in Saudi Arabia After 5 Months

LINK- Life in Saudi Arabia 3 Month On

LINK- An English Geek in Saudi Arabia

LINK- Video Gaming In Saudi Arabia

Life in Coronavirus Lockdown Saudi

March 20, 2020

So, schools have shut in Saudi as they have in many other parts of the world due to the spread of the Coronavirus. Over here, any place where people could hang out and possibly pass on the virus, such as cinemas, malls and even mosques have been ordered to close to slow the spread of this pandemic. Social distancing just got real, however being British it's an inherent part of my identity to keep people at bay and maintain a stiff upper lip so I've taken to avoiding people like a duck to water. I kid of course...

Now, there are many pros and cons to life in Corona lockdown Saudi and I've listed them below in no particular order but just as and when the thoughts came to me, like a stream of consciousness, similar to Trump's reassuring second address to the nation:

+ Food, water and medical supplies are plentiful. Being Saudi, the country has enough in the bank to ensure that supplies do not run low and that people do not horde loads of the essentials. Don't get me wrong, there was a run on water, pasta and rice on the first day but more arrived the next day and everyone calmed down after the initial worry about shortages. Also this is a land plentiful in bog roll as with bum guns installed everywhere, the need is not so great.

+ Our distance learning means children are learning from home and, whilst not ideal, it is providing them with learning opportunities and keeping the families (mostly) happy.

- Setting up the distance learning was very difficult and challenging as we had to look through our objectives for the remainder of the year and provide streamlined lessons that children could access and do independently at home. Considering that most are EAL (English As An Additional Language) this was difficult. But we are over the worst of it and now have got into a flow.

+ There has been a mixed reaction from parents regarding distance learning; some have admired what we have done as teachers in that we have created a cohesive sequence of lessons that meets the curriculum needs and provided personalised video tutorials, whilst others think that we are just dossing doing not much, getting rich off their tuition fees. I have pointed out on a couple of occasions that it wasn't us who decided to close the school but the King, Ministry of Health and most governments around the world.

- the amount of screen time I have in a day is way worse than I've ever had in my life. I know it can't be helped but as a teacher I don't like sitting in front of a screen for 6 to 7 hours a day, marking learning and providing feedback. As a parent I don't like my daughters seeing me in front of electronica all the time, I think it sets a bad precedent for them. It can't be helped but I don't like it.

+ and - As school is closed my daughters are no longer attending, obviously, but we have a very busy schedule filled with grade level planning meetings, responding to the work our class children are uploading to the online digital profile page, office hours etc This is a tough balancing act to follow and as my wife and I are both teachers it is a juggling act. Luckily we have created a rota system with a couple of other parents to take care of the kids, communal rearing is a thing and whilst it doesn't follow social distancing rules it is the only way we can cope with our work whilst providing our children with the education and socialisation they need. (Edit: people are no longer allowed to go into each others’ houses or meet communally, so communal rearing has ended :( )

- Things are shutting all the time with no notice. Yesterday, all our Compound's parks were closed as were all the restaurants. This makes sense to encourage social distancing, but as the temperature keeps rising the only bit of solace we have are the pools, which remain open and are quite busy at the time of writing. It will only be a matter of time before they close though. (Edit: they closed today… :S)

+ and - Living in the compound, I feel pretty safe as no visitors are allowed in now and so it's just the community that live here. Most people left when there was rumour of a lockdown and grounding of flights last week so our compound, which was about 1/5 occupied is even more of a ghost town. This does mean no queuing at the local shop and also I can ride my bike in the middle of the road without fear of being hit by a 20 kph car.

- The bowling alley closed. This was a key part of my week as I ate my Whopper and chilled with my mates. Alas, no more! I think with the lockdown this is what hurts the most as I got my highest score, 153, only a week or so ago.

+ I now have time to do the things I've wanted to do, catch up on box sets, finish my backlog of games, read loads of books, write that novel I've been thinking about... Okay, it's all true except the last one. I haven't got the patience for a novel, a fortune cookie message maybe, or a haiku.

Just chilling with my pile of graphic novels from the school library, and yes, I do sit casually on the floor to read them :)

+ and - Family time. I love my family and spending more time with them is awesome, however... It is A LOT of time and we are all getting a bit cabin fever-y. Too much of a good thing y'know. Do you think I may have saved myself from my wife with that last line?

+ Food shopping is still allowed and as long as you wear the polythene gloves provided, pretty safe... Well as safe as you can be wearing loose fitting wafer thin gloves whilst being surrounded by hundred of other people. I now feel like the Queen of England, the only difference between us being that I paid my taxes and I am not exempt from inheritance tax *zing*.

- Packing fruit into polythene bags whilst wearing these polythene gloves is very difficult and shopping took a lot longer as I tried to place fruit and vegetables into said bags.

Plythene bag + Polythene Gloves = Major Headache

+ I'm going for long walks around the compound as the gym (ahem, sauna and spa) is closed so purchased some Sketcher Gogo Max 5 Walking Trainers, apart from my DCs they are possibly the most comfortable shoes I've ever worn.

- However, the Sketchers look like this and there is a possibility that I may die wearing these bad boys:

If the Corona doesn't kill me the embarrassment of wearing trainers designed for octogenarian Floridians might.

So yeah, lockdown is a little strange and whilst living in this compound bubble it has been interesting to see how the world has responded but these are exciting and interesting times. Time for some real talk: I think people are actually starting to realise what the 'essential' services are and it is often the lower paid or under-appreciated parts of society; the shop workers, cleaners, nurses, doctors, care workers, teachers, delivery drivers and many more. However, much like how the 2008 economic crisis showed the great disparity between the banking system and much of society, people thought there would be real change in the world, however these thoughts are fleeting as a new meme, trend or manufactured outrage of a hot topics takes hold. Maybe there'll be a mea culpa about man-made global warming as the data should conclusively prove the effects we are having in destroying the world, but we know how this works folks; it ain't gonna happen easily if at all.

This is a chance for people to come together and help each other in a potentially devastating worldwide crisis and we will see the best and worst of humanity. Let’s try to be the best we can be folks.

LINK- Life in the Times of the Coronavirus

LINK- Bahrain II: The Revenge

LINK- The Further Adventures of Anjum of Arabia in Saudi

LINK- High Tea and High Times in the Riyadh Globe

LINK- Reflecting on Life in Saudi Arabia After 5 Months

LINK- Life in Saudi Arabia 3 Month On

LINK- An English Geek in Saudi Arabia

LINK- Video Gaming In Saudi Arabia

Bahrain II: The Revenge

February 23, 2020

It had been a crazy few weeks at school here in Riyadh. Since we’d come back from the Christmas holidays we hadn’t had a break. Last week we had an off timetable week at school, which was really tough on Jeannie and I, as we had to organise lots of ‘hand-on’ activities for our ‘Week Without Walls’. It was great fun but exhausting and when paired with having to complete progress reports too, well, we thought we deserved a break. Luckily, we had a long weekend penned on our calendar and so for our 3 day weekend we decided to go back to Bahrain for some sun, sand (beachside) and Shirley Temples.

We were adamant that this time we would enjoy ourselves and not worry about the money and so this time we decided to drive there instead of flying, that way we wouldn't be spending £600 or so on flights for just 3 days and the spirit of Greta Thunberg wouldn't be haunting me.

Rightly so making us answerable for the future generations. Well done Greta!

The problem was that our car was a bit on a banger and there was no guarantee that it would make the 900km or so round trip. The dehydrated urine-like colour of our car was indicative of its quality and worth but we wanted a break out of Saudi and so we had to trust in the Gods that we would make it in one piece. And thus started our first leg of the 473 km journey across Arabia towards Bahrain.

We departed at 5:30am on the Friday morning, the start of the Islamic weekend, to beat the traffic we knew would build up. We knew that the journey would take about 5 hours in total and once out of Riyadh it would be one motorway all the way there, easy right?

Well, it didn't start too well. After just 45 minutes on the road, Leela did a vomit of quaranic proportions. I mean we had to stop at a drive-through McDonald's carpark, strip her off completely, throw the clothes in the bin, wipe her down with a pack of wipes, clean the vom off the car seat as best we could, place a towel on the car seat for Leela to sit on for the rest of the journey and redress her again. Bless her, she was a trooper and seemed to feel a lot better after that but the car stank of bile for the rest of the 5 hours so we drove with the windows down for the rest of the journey.

To brighten the mood we decide to play some music but the only thing we had in the car was the Disney Christmas CD. As we committed sacrilege by playing the Christmas CD, we drove through the beautiful Arabian desert. We passed camels, random towns, oasises (oasi-ed?) as Goofy sung in his dulcet tones about his jingle bells. I can honestly say that it was one of the most surreal experiences in my life and I remember thinking, the Lord wouldn't smite us would he?

As we drove on, we went past some burnt out cars and a deserted half built hotel with a rusty old ferris wheel in the middle of the desert which wouldn't look out of place in a horror film. Also we encountered a plague of locusts. I know many people may think that I'm exaggerating but I have video and photographic evidence of these events… the camera never lies… except when it uses filters, photoshop or other image editing software.

When we got to Bahrain we were so happy that we had made it- I said a quick dua in thanks for our safe if harrowing journey. Oh, to be in a place where road signs were followed and traffic lights were not a suggestion but enforced by law. Bliss!

We got to the hotel and had a wonderful day frolicking by the beach and sipping on our drinks. By 6:30pm we were all knackered and went to bed super early. It had been an eventful day and I think we were all glad that we had made it to the end of it. I went to bed watching Bird Box as I needed something light to end my day on.

The next day, Jeannie suggested we visit a local Hindu temple which was famed for its beauty. Anyone who knows my wife knows that she likes all things Indian, except me, her British-Pakistani hubby, so this was a must for her. So kids in tow, we got in a cab ready to culture it up. We were initially taken to the wrong temple but after some Google mapping and translating we arrived at the right place. We walked through some narrow streets that contained shops that reminded me of Green Street, East Ham but it was much cleaner, so like Southall but better.

When we found the temple it was undergoing some major renovations and whilst we were waiting to go in Leela had that look on her face that told Jeannie and I that there was a present in her nappy. Jeannie took her to the toilets and I chilled with Jasmine, passing the time by answering questions like "Why is God blue?" (she saw a giant photo of him and he was blue), "Why does he have an elephant head?" (Ganesh statue nearby) and "I like the praying in Saudi and God is in the sky but why is Jesus a baby?" So very interesting questions that would take a while to unpack but as Jeannie and Leela were taking a while unpack we did... To be honest I think I'd have preferred to be cleaning up Leela! These are difficult questions to answer without brainwashing a child into a certain doctrine or closing her down with my views and opinions.

After some time, Jeannie appeared looking shell-shocked and with a large suspicious stain on her top. "We have to go, Leela did a massive leaky poo and it went everywhere including my top. We can't go into the temple like this" she informed me. And so, our temple visit was cut short due to a number 2; Leela was really on form this holiday. As we walked back to the cab rank we bought garlands of jasmine to cover the pooey smell and some vittles for our forthcoming return trip.

The rest of the day was spent by the side of the pool in the hotel complex, eating pizza and ordering drinks. It’s a tough life!

That night we decided to go to the fancy on the river seafood restaurant. It did an all you can eat £30 buffet and had crab, mussels, calamari and a smorgasbord of fish cooked to order. We had a great time as a load of our teacher colleagues met up and the kids were running around, having the time of their lives.

At 8pm the kids were getting tired so we decided to leave and it was at this point that Leela projectile vomited near the fancy water fountain near the entrance of the restaurant. The staff were super kind and efficient as they mopped up and checked after our daughter. We got her to bed and she had a fitful sleep sleeping between Jeannie and I.

On the morning of our departure and 473km journey back to the Kingdom, we all ate a very light breakfasts and girded our loins for what promised to be an interesting journey, but y’know what? It actually went smoothly. The girls slept most of the way, there wasn't much traffic and the drivers weren’t too bad.

On the border I was quickly let through as for once racial profiling worked FOR me and I wasn't 'randomly selected' by my Muslim brethren. The only squeaky bum moment we had on the journey back was when the petrol was running low and I thought we'd have to depend on the kindness of strangers but might end up in a Wolf Creek type situation but luckily we found a petrol station just as the needle hit the last notch before empty.

Oh, we also found the most random McDonald's ever. It was about 250 km out from Riyadh and there were no cities or towns nearby. My immediate thoughts were why build it here, that's a heck of a commute for the workers there and is the breakfast still on? It was and I had a nice chat to the staff who seemed happy to talk to anyone, even though I only wanted to use the toilet and was being polite.

Seriously, this Maccies was miles from anywhere!

We also encountered the swarm of locusts again but they were much diminished and there were only a few of them flying around aimlessly, looking for food to plunder. I should have told them about the Maccies down the road...

So, we got home safe and sound and settled down for the afternoon. To de-stress and recover from the 5 hour drive I went to relax in the sauna, that same sauna that Jeannie had bought me a subscription to after our first Bahrain trip. Whilst in there I got reflecting.

Overall this was a successful trip and I thoroughly enjoyed it all. The misadventures will become the stuff of legend in our family I’m sure and adds to the crazy tapestry of our life. Our wonderful champagne coloured car had served us well and for that we were grateful.

We are hoping to go back to Bahrain again soon and hope third time’s the charm!

LINK- The Further Adventures of Anjum of Arabia in Saudi

LINK- High Tea and High Times in the Riyadh Globe

LINK- Reflecting on Life in Saudi Arabia After 5 Months

LINK- Life in Saudi Arabia 3 Month On

LINK- An English Geek in Saudi Arabia

LINK- Video Gaming In Saudi Arabia

The Further Adventures of Anjum of Arabia in Saudi...

February 15, 2020

I've been in Saudi for over 6 months now and there is some other stuff I've noticed about life here in Riyadh:

Most cars have dinks. There are a great mix of cars including predominantly GMC, Nissan, Hyundai and Kias, interspersed with the occasional supercar and most have dink in, including the supercars! I've also see more Mustangs in the last 6 months than I've ever seen in my life.

The kids love sequins on their clothes, especially the ones where you can stroke it to change the colour or design. This is especially useful when you are teaching as the sequins help the children concentrate and are good for the environment too... said no one ever!

Saudi's love their sweets (*sigh* candy) and fizzy drinks (*sigh* soda) -diabetes and obesity will be in fashion here soon I'm sure as kids are generally quite big here and don't exercise much. They are often ferried from air-conned building to air-conned building. It is a major health concern, so much so that the Prince has issued a 'Sugar tax' very recently.

The old crusty looking tower block buildings in the old part of town hide flashy offices, dentists, cosmetic surgery places etc. Seriously, I thought I was back in the Gascoigne Estate in Barking (the English version of 'the projects') as I had to walk up a crusty flight of stairs in some echoey room (no smell of urine though, which should have been a giveaway) only to find an oasis of dental calm. All marble and chic lighting. It is sorta like Chunking Mansions in Hong Kong, a huge tower block with hundreds of businesses that looks ghetto but actually is full of cool and thriving businesses and industry.

The toilets are often like something from Trainspotting as people use bum guns here and they are in use all the time due to the 5 daily prayers. The floors of toilets are often soaking wet but on the plus side my bottom is squeaky clean so pros and cons eh?

The mobile phone top up system is confusing, you have to go to pods in malls manned by people and actually pay that way. The queues are long and boring with a ticketed system. Or, you could get the app and DIY but initially it's confusing and all linked to your personal ID, the Iqama. This limits what you can look at and research, including in incognito mode so stay mainstream and clean you weirdos.

The airport is super efficient and the staff are the friendliest I've ever met at any airport, and I've been to over 30 in my travels.

Saudi's are ready for gigs, concerts and events but the etiquette at these events is still being worked on. So for example, if you are watching a boxing match and have awesome seats a few people will think nothing of standing in front of you and having a proper conversation about the meaning of life... I mean, sit the heck down! You've got prime seats, chill!

The cinema is a massive deal here. They will show movies in their original form but any kissing scenes or LGBTQ issues are sliced with some interesting and abrupt editing. I'd be interested to see how Quentin Tarantino movies would be edited here, they'd be short film after the cuts I reckon... Once Upon A Time In Hollywood would be under 5 mins!

It gets cold here. Now that might be surprising for some imagining unbearable heat, mirages and whatnot but apart from the fact that at night there is little to no cloud cover to keep the heat in, because science, Riyadh has seasons. Yup, from November to about March Riyadh feels like early British spring with temperatures being about 7 degrees during the day to about 3 degrees at night. It warms up during the day reaching the heady heights of about 17 degrees but this place does get cold so you need your North Face and Berghaus jackets.

Lynx Africa is not sold here. Lynx is rebranded as Axe in Saudi and I've looked for Africa high and low but, alas, to no avail. There are many other scents available here but they emphasise the woody smelling ones. When I went back to England at Christmas I bought 2 XL cans of it as it's been my smell since I was about 11. Jeannie says my scent is garlic and onions but I and Mr. Lynx Africa disagree.

The driving test centre is a pretty depressing place, as most are, but if you have a British or American driving license it's all plain sailing and fast-tracked and you may not even have to touch a car... Which is useful at the DVLA.

The banking system here is very tight. You need an Iqama (special personal ID card provided by the government when granted permission to enter the country) and lots of paperwork. It's a nuisance getting anything done as the queues are crazy long (think over an hour for basic banking needs and about 3 hours to get a credit card) but fraud and money laundering are much tougher so that's good!

LINK- High Tea and High Times in the Riyadh Globe

LINK- Reflecting on Life in Saudi Arabia After 5 Months

LINK- Life in Saudi Arabia 3 Month On

LINK- An English Geek in Saudi Arabia

LINK- Video Gaming In Saudi Arabia

High Tea and High Times at the Riyadh Globe

January 29, 2020

A couple of weeks ago I ‘celebrated’ my 39th birthday. I say celebrated but it was a weird one to be honest. My lovely wife had signed us both up for the school staff talent show a few weeks ago. She put us in for the Bollywood dancing, just to buck the stereotype, but then got shy after a couple of sessions and bailed leaving me in the group. I felt guilty as the numbers in the group were low so I stayed and on my birthday I performed on a proper stage to a paying audience of 750 school parents, pupils and peers in the evening. It was a great experience and I had a lot of fun but it wasn’t what I would have planned to do on my birthday. When the show had finished it was quite late-ish so I went home and went to bed. So yeah, a weird but memorable birthday for sure.

The cakes and snacks on offer were wonderful.

I think my wife was feeling guilty as later on that week she WhatApped our friends and arranged a fancy high tea at the Al Faisaliah Tower in Riyadh. For people not in the know, which I’m guessing is pretty much everyone as it’s not that famous a building outside of Riyadh, the tower is a giant pyramid with a globe stuck in near the top. It’s a beautiful but unconventional looking building, but what it promises is an unrivaled 360 degree view of the city and a perfect place to view the sunset whilst eating delicious food. So, what’s not to like, eh?

Well, after navigating the nightmarish roadworks that had blocked off most of the access points to the area we arrived at the front of the tower. A valet offered to park the Kia next to the latest, shiniest BMWs, Bentleys and Bugattis and I knew then that these were my people and I’d fit riiiiight in…

Entering the tower with my helium filled Elmo birthday balloon, we stepped onto the red carpet and I felt every bit the star my mother thinks I am. Maybe they’d heard about my amazing turn at the Staff Talent Show? We went through the x-ray tunnel and metal detector and my balloon was confiscated. Elmo is a code red apparently, or maybe they don’t want people to get high off the helium.

We then entered a cylindrical lift that felt like something out of a James Bond villains lair, all glass and chrome. A dapper concierge swiped his special card to allow the lift to move. We then met another concierge half way up and he swiped his special card to allow us further up into the building, into the plush lounge area. I thought that at the next stop I’d have to give a stool sample, shed some blood or sacrifice a lamb to be allowed in but luckily that was not required as we were finally there.

The panoramic view was instantly amazing. The sun shone on the Kingdom Tower which stood right in front of us; a bottle opener shaped building created by an architect with a ‘dry’ sense of humour! The other towering skyscrapers loomed large and the Mondrian-like grid road system was clear for all to see. The view was breathtaking and well worth the price of the 35 quid admission.

As we settled into our chairs, the waiting staff filed our glasses with fizzy water and loaded the table with serving towers laden with a selection of cakes, scones, chocolates, blinis (that’s small pancakes with fancy toppings) and savoury amuse-bouches (that’s small fancy food that tastes delicious). I was impressed as the food was scrumpdiddlyumptious but there were no cucumber, egg and cress or salmon paste finger sandwiches in sight. Worse still you had to go make your own tea! Well, that’s just not cricket is it? In all fairness they did have a tea caddy area with proper posh tea in their own linen-type teabags and a hot water urn but it felt weird making my own tea at a high tea.

However, this was more than made up by the fact that they had an international buffet going on. There was food from Japan; sushi, China; spring rolls, India; samosas and Germany; some savoury pastries and cookies. There was also a pimp chocolate fountain with a variety of foods and fruits you could skewer. So all in all, a very good variety of food that catered for all needs… except for those who like vegetables. It was a very beige tea, which I don’t mind on occasion, but for those wanting a rainbow plate of food jog on son…

So, as the sun set over the 3 or so hours we were there, my friends and I enjoyed the magnificent sunset and ate our fill. There were lots of laughs and lively discussions about work and life in Riyadh. My daughters loved the whole thing and ate their fill of chocolate covered fruit and marshmallow. The staff were very sweet and attentive and my daughters danced, ate and made friends with some of the other kids there.

The time whizzed by and by 6pm we bid a fond adieu to the place and made our way back downstairs, collecting the Elmo balloon on the way.

I have to say that my wife outdid herself by arranging this. Now I have to think of a way to repay her on her birthday. Maybe I’ll book her in for a standup session at the local comedy bar and then take her for a fancy Indian meal after… I’ve got a few months to figure out how to make her birthday as memorable as mine was with a sucker punch of an event first and then a sweetener.

LINK- Reflecting on Life in Saudi Arabia After 5 Months

LINK- Life in Saudi Arabia 3 Month On

LINK- An English Geek in Saudi Arabia

LINK- Video Gaming In Saudi Arabia

Reflecting On Life in Saudi Arabia After 5 Months

December 29, 2019

It's been 5 months since my family and I left England for Saudi Arabia to travel around the world, have new experiences and hopefully start to save for our future by getting new teaching jobs. It's had its ups and downs but after the spiritual epiphany I had in the sauna in Bahrain, how are we adapting to life being slightly less frugal and enjoying life a bit?

Well, Jeannie got me a membership to a spa and sauna soon after we got back to Riyadh! I think she read the Bahrain article, even though she said she didn't, and is either angling her way to convince me to buy that 1 karat diamond ring she's been after, or she was visited by 3 ghosts over the course of a night... Hey, it's Christmas so it could happen! Either way, the spa's been a gosh-send as after a tired day at the chalk face I go to the compound spa and steam, sauna and jacuzzi... I come out sparkling like a vampire from a popular elevated fan-fiction series.

So how have we changed, apart from sauna membership? Well, I'm eating caviar on toast daily, I'm not but it is available for £25 a small jar at the local mini-mart if I were so inclined.

To treat Jeannie, I splashed out and bought her a foot spa as she's mentioned wanting one for a while. She's loving it and it's become a bit of a ritual for her to plug it in whilst the girls munch a post-school cookie whilst watching a cartoon on Netflix... Psych! She's used it precisely once and it's now sitting in the cupboard gathering dust like all footspas around the world... Next to the Breville Sandwich Toaster, Bread Maker and Jimmy Hoffa's body.

We are eating out a little more, and not at fast food places but actual restaurants with cutlery with weight to it. We've had napkins that aren't disposable or made from course tissue paper and it feels like a revelation! A restaurant even gave us fresh bread and a salad for free and that was before we even ordered anything, so you know it's fancy when they can afford to give food away.

We go to Starbucks a coupla times a week and my drink of choice is a matcha frappe with hazelnut syrup. That beats the greasy spoon 50p cuppa but does make me feel like a complete muppet when I put the order in, but it is sooo tasty. Young Barking Me would knock the high pile of books from my hand aggressively and shout "What!" if he could see me now... But it gets worse…

We brunch. Yup, we go for brunches at cool hipster places; all asymmetric haircuts, distressed unvarnished odd wood furniture, bare brick walls and a shish tonne of plants. With my new freewheeling style, I have had unfettered food options and in one place I had eggs benedict, which is a couple of poached eggs on muffins, with a hollandaise sauce and a little bit of parsley on top. Pretty simple right? Well at £14 I'm guessing these were some elite eggs, maybe dodo... Hey, it's Saudi so it could happen!

Recently, Jeannie and I went to the poshest cinema I've ever been to in my life, £56 for 2 tickets to see that cheesy Brit-com Last Christmas! The Vox Cinema at the Kingdom Tower (the one that looks like a bottle opener- ironic I know) had so much swagger with its modern art deco styling. Our remote controlled reclining seats were of the softest leather and had a night light, foldable food trays and satin blankets and pillows, Also, no lie, the popcorn came in super posh boxes and were carried to you on a freakin' tray by a waiter in a shirt and tie. With the press of a button you could get waiting service to your recliner, so you could order loaded nachos at your pleasure. This opulence even carried across into the toilet where there were golden bum guns. The toilet paper had also been poshified by the fact they made it into a triangle at the end... that's class right there for ya. Different world man, different world.

Recently a group of friends from work and I have taken up bowling. We've been every Wednesday for the past 5 weeks and we've got pretty good. It's not flash or fancy and often we get a Burger King meal but I splash out on a large Whopper meal and I splurge that extra 1 sar (about 20p) for a sachet of spicy sauce... It's the little things yknow... in the Endz it was ordering that burger with an extra hash brown thrown in, but as money was tight that only happened on rare occasions... Now? Sauces as far as the eye can see.

A little while ago, the family and I went to Dubai to catch up with an old work colleague and pal (Heya Gill!) and we went to the Marks and Spencer there and bought a few things for the kids and ourselves. Nothing fancy, just essentials like PJs, underpants and flip-flops and even though it's about a 30% markup on British prices, we didn't wince or complain. It's just a fact of life that imported goods from England cost a lot more here. We'd normally say it was too expensive and go to Blue Inc. instead but this time we said no more! So M&S goods it was for us! Huzzah!

I've recently been to the Super Classico and the Clash on the Dunes, two major sporting events. Not only did I see Messi score a goal but I also saw Anthony Joshua regain the Heavyweight Boxing titles. In England these events would run into the hundreds, maybe even the thousand mark for the boxing but here it's much cheaper so why not go and give it a whirl eh?

I'm not saying I've become snooty but at the boxing I had chips with truffle oil, yup, oil from truffles! Yknow, the expensive stuff that pigs love to root around for and eat. If it's good enough for them... Anyways it was nice but joins the list alongside caviar as food that is proper snooty and posh but I don't get the hype.

Looking forward I'm not sure where our crazy freewheelin' lifestyle is headed but I'm sure it is a place that's wonderful yet decadently restrained... Like our budget. This is a new reinvigorated Anjum, one who brunches weekly, attends sporting events whilst glistening like a vampire. So yeah, adapting to being less frugal is going okay but there are still some hurdles...

When colleagues asked what I was most looking forward to when I got back to Blighty for the Christmas holidays, I said after friends, family and more Brexit talk it was the grade F chicken and chips for £1. I've missed it, strange as it may seem. Also, I’m off to Tonbridge in a couple of days and look forward to getting a personal £2 pizza from Pizza Go Go near Tonbridge Station and going to Oriental Buffet to eat my body weight in chicken wings! See, it’s not all spas and truffle oils, I’m still ‘hood!

LINK- Life in Saudi Arabia 3 Month On

LINK- An English Geek in Saudi Arabia

LINK- Video Gaming In Saudi Arabia

Life in Saudi Arabia 3 Months On

October 15, 2019

So my family and I have been in Saudi Arabia for nearly 3 months now and we've started to get a lay of the land. So how was our life here initially and how do we feel now?

Well, the first thing to know is that we live in the capital, Riyadh, and it's a city undergoing a massive transformation. It is being developed at an incredibly fast rate with a new rail system, road network and enlarged business district planned to be completed in 2030. They are investing over 30 billion dollars into this project and it shows. However, as a result of this development travelling around by car can be difficult as diversions are commonplace and in a country where drivers are fast and often aggressive, it can be a challenge... Like driving down Ilford Lane on a weekend in rush hour. If you miss a turn you often have to take a grand tour of the city before being able to come back to give the turn-off another go.

We live on a compound (some of my British friends prefer to call it a ‘campus’ as it sounds less harsh), this means that it's a securely gated community. Within, we live in an approximation of 1950s American suburbia; kids riding bikes in the very clean streets, a few cars driving very slowly (there's a 20 km limit whilst driving around the compound) and amazing facilities like a fully kitted rec centre with a football (*sigh* soccer) pitch, virtual golf centre and several courts for various ball games. The gym is fully kitted and has built in screens on many of the treadmills so that is where I often go to watch Netflix and catch up on the numerous animated series I'm watching. It's great because I've been to the gym a couple of times each week since we arrived, which equates to more than I've ever been in my entire life.

On site we also have a mini mart (think Tesco Express but filled with more American products), a Burger King, Sports Direct (and yes, I still feel the same shame when I go to buy some sport related good here as I did at home) and a mini cinema that has seating for about 20 people and shows unedited films from Hollywood.

There are also 4 swimming pools and one is heated for all seasons, and yes, there ARE seasons over here, or so I've been told. So the compound itself is amazing with great facilities but it is definitely an Expat bubble, a lovely bubble though!

Outside the compound, Riyadh is much more an interesting mix of Middle-East meets West. The call to prayer is heard wherever you are as it is a requirement that for every new housing or building development there be a local mosque. This is intermingled with vast amounts of American fast food chains and international shops and shopping centres (*sigh* malls). The shops are a strange mix of extremely expensive high end good mixed with their Chinese knock-offs, its very strange. You'll be walking around a large department store and see Gucci watches costing over 1000 dollars and then you'll see a fake Peppa née Baby Pig playset for 40 dollars... Pricing is inconsistent and often seems a bit arbitrary.

The range of shops is amazing, you have all the big chain brands from America interspersed with some shops that are struggling or have gone the way of the Dodo in England; Virgin Mega Store, Marks and Spencer, Mothercare, Forever 21 and Debenham's. As well as that there are many shops I wouldn't expect to be here, Victoria's Secret and tonnes, and I means tonnes, of makeup shops. Obviously I knew there'd be some makeup shops but not in the vast quantity that exist here.

Grocery wise, when you buy fresh fruit and vegetables you have to pick it, bag it and get it weighed at a counter manned by a clerk who must get polythene bags thrust at him for hours on end.

When you do buy something you will see the longest reciept you've ever seen in your life, even if you've just bought a pack of gum. They are working towards developing the recycling but ‘Bags for Life’ are not a thing here yet. We have started to re-use some of the plastic bags to ensure we don’t get new ones but the shop assistants look at us like we’re a bit weird and keep trying to give us new ones. The local supermarket knows us now and we get a rueful smile when we bust out the old used bags. Every little ‘elps though!

The shopping continues during prayer times but the counters are shut, which I think is quite good as it places the emphasis on host country's religious leanings, much like Sundays used to be in England once when only a couple of shops would be open so your parents would drag you to see some country pile or go to a museum to fill the day before that 'Songs of Praise' Sunday evening dread set in as you knew you’d have school the next day. Being a teacher that feeling never left me!

Saudi's are very family oriented and so all malls have a theme park at the top. Seriously, carousels, roller coasters, arcades etc... all in the malls. Due to prayer times and different business hour timetables compared to many other countries, this is a night culture and many families will eat out until 11pm at least. As a result, the behaviour expectations of many children is slightly different from what I've been used to in England. Saudi Arabia will have a very excitable next generation coming through!

I feel incredibly safe walking around as petty crime is nearly non-existent, it just wouldn't be worthwhile here. I feel happy that I can wander around and know I won't have people asking me to lend them 20p i. e. nick your wallet, or to use my phone, i. e. nick my phone, or some of the more serious felonies I faced on an almost weekly basis when living in east London.

Disney is massive here, and I mean massive. The Netflix has loads more Disney films than in England and the children's fashion is similarity Disney-tastic. I wouldn't be surprised if the rumours about Disney creating a theme park in Saudi were true.

I have travelled to the 'Old Town' in Riyadh and this is where the multicultural diversity and socio-economic differences are most stark. This is where much of the manual labourers and service sector workforce live, it's also where you get the most authentic south Asian spices, cuisine and best tailors at a good price.... Kinda like Ilford Lane... great food but at night a bit edgy and dangerous.

Overall, we are really enjoying our life in Riyadh and it is a country where our presumptions have been proved wrong again and again. It is a dynamic country and things are changing at a fast pace. Since we've arrived, the first load of tourists have been granted visas and the abaya, a dress which is worn as an outer garment for modesty, will not be required for visitors. I'm excited to see how the country changes further during our time here.

Video Gaming in Saudi Arabia

September 16, 2019

Six weeks ago, my wife, children and I left the UK to live and work in Saudi Arabia. We were excited to leave but I was a bit concerned due to the fact that I thought that by going to Saudi Arabia I might have to put a lot of my pop-culture hobbies and interests behind me. Yes, it’s a first world problem for sure but from what I had heard and been led to believe, the availability of pop culture paraphernalia and video games was limited and, as an avid gamer, this could pose a huge problem for me.

Gaming is a huge part of who I am. I first discovered it when I was 6 and lived opposite a video rental store in East Ham, East London. The shop had a few arcade machines including the sit-down cocktail Pacman table, Space Invaders and some other ones which I can't remember. I fell in love with the colours, lights and sounds and blame it for getting me run-over when I was rushing with my pocket money across a busy street. Luckily, I only had a graze on my head and lived to tell the tale and play games.

I asked my parents for a computer but money was always tight so I had to content myself with playing my friends' computers. They had a ZX Spectrum and Spectrum +2 and the games wowed me but when my best friend got an NES for his 10th birthday my whole world changed- Nintendo was in my blood now. Together we would play our way through Double Dragon, Mario 1 and 3, Zelda, Micro Machines and many more. At the time I was playing my best friends NES, my parents bought an Amstrad CPC 464 with a green monochrome screen for my birthday. I loved the aged Amstrad machine, particularly enjoying Rainbow Islands, Bubble Bobble, the Dizzy games and Target Renegade, but wanted an upgrade and so worked hard on my car-washing round to purchase a Master System (as the NES was still very expensive). The Master System was a good machine but the NES was much better in terms of its gaming catalogue and so I still played it much more around my best friend’s house.

My bedroom circa 2008

I loved hooking up the projector to my gaming system

Video gaming and me

When the Megadrive came into the picture with Sonic, my friend got that for Christmas and again I played through many of the best games with him, including Streets of Rage 1 and 2, Aladdin and Street Fighter 2. These were the times of the console wars and you were either Sega or Nintendo but never both. I was definitely Sega but this changed when another friend of mine gave me his beat up old Gameboy. It was scratched up real bad and had no back for the battery casing but that didn't matter, I loved it! So between my fix of the Megadrive and Gameboy I was all set. Later on I would swap my Master System and library of games to get a second-hand Megadrive (I had to sell the shirt off my back to Rodney’s Books and Games for that!)

Rodney’s Books and Games was a staple of my weekend.

I missed out on the SNES as none of my close friends had it but I came back to it once the new console generation began. This was when Nintendo would become my gaming constant. I got the N64 second-hand and completed Zelda: The Ocarina of Time and Goldeneye. The N64 was awesome at the time but, due to the huge gaps between games, I also purchased a second-hand Playstation and loved that too- completing amongst others Final Fantasy 7, Syphon Filter and Parasite Eve II.

When the Gamecube came out in 2002 I bought it on the day of release with my brother, giddy from the money from my weekend jobs at Peacocks Clothing, a clothing chain, and a youth centre. It was the first ever console that I bought brand new and so it has a special place in my heart. Even though it had quite a small library it did have some of my favourite games ever including Zelda: Windwaker, Metroid Prime, Beyond Good and Evil and Resident Evil 4 (an exclusive at the time). As the consoles library dried up I purchased a second-hand Playstation 2 specifically to play Ico. The game had me intrigued and so I brought a shrink wrapped copy of that game and the console one Saturday after work at the youth centre and devoured the game in a few days. Of course I played loads of other PS2 games but Ico was my ‘in’, a strange ‘in’ to be sure.

I then bought the Xbox 360 in 2007 and loved that system; it's online service was amazing and I played some phenomenal games including Bioshock, Assassins Creed 2, Gears of War, Red Dead Redemption and Deadly Premonition. However I noticed something; all those achievements and the quest for useless XP points was getting in the way of the games for me. The simplicity of the games were being diluted with fetch-quests and the search for random doodads, a lot of the games coming out had no respect for my time and I started to dislike them for this; why did I need a 3 hour tutorial on how to move my character around a screen?

When the Wii was released, I was one of the lucky few who had pre-ordered from Game and got it on the day of release. The system was a revelation and yes I am one of those people who have the story of 'my parents never played any computer system but they did play Wii Sports.' The image of my dad playing tennis with my older brother by waggling the Wii-mote around is a happy memory for me and not at all as sinister or sordid as it sounds. The Wii had some amazing games including Metroid Prime 3: Corruption, Muramasa: The Demon Sword, Super Mario Galaxy 1 and 2 and Donkey Kong Country Returns but, as usual, the games dried up and the shovel-ware came in.

When we moved to South Woodford, my man-cave was pretty awesome!

When my wife and I moved to Cambodia to teach for 2 years, she bought me a cracked Wii and I had over 200 games on it. She went away for a girlie weekend and found me in a catatonic state, sleep-deprived and I'm sure a bit smelly as I am a completist and had stayed up pretty much the whole weekend playing loads of the games worrying about how I would complete them all. That is obviously not a good state to be in and so I decided to relax about games and not get caught up in the whole 'complete everything' spiral. I went back to the Xbox 360 but was very picky in what I played as so many were very padded experiences; I started critical pathing some of the games which made them still very worthwhile in my opinion. I also only played the Wii games I was interested in and completed pretty much all the ones I had wanted.

I then bought a Wii U and even though it has been a commercial failure, it has had some phenomenal games; Bayonetta 2, Super Mario 3D World, Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze (which incidentally has one of the greatest soundtracks ever) and Rayman Legends. I even found myself more relaxed about my gaming habits and, again, only played the games that interested me and respected my time.

That brings us up to the present. My gaming life has been impacted over the years by the introduction of children into my life, but my interest in video games has not wavered. When coming to Saudi Arabia, I brought along my Nintendo Switch and Playstation 4. I play Nintendo games for the unique and refined experiences they provide. I've found that even though I have more responsibility in terms of finances and family, Nintendo has been a constant. It offers me hours of comfort and, pound or pound, has given me more joy than any other medium. I often get people asking me when I have the time to play games and the funny thing is that even though I don't have the time I used to have when I was in my adolescence or teens, I do have a spare couple of hours most evenings.

Most of my old gaming systems are in storage now.

My daughters go to sleep at 7-ish most nights and my wife is close behind at 9:00, being a lark whilst I am most definitely an owl. This means I get a couple of hours gaming in most nights and over the past month I’ve spent the lion’s share of my gaming time on Skyrim, a game I’ve bought twice before (on the Xbox 360 and PS4) but never actually got around to playing before.

After a busy day at my school, we often go to the swimming pool for a bit, my daughters have dinner and a bath and then it’s bedtime for them. My wife and I have dinner and then we do a couple of hours school work (yup, I do school work at home most evenings now- my school has a heavy emphasis on planning.) I take a brain break (and body break from the heat) with a journey into Skyrim, a Norse-mythology inspired land full of tundra, lush woodlands and clear waters. Bethesda’s Skyrim has been available on most systems over the past few years and is not a Nintendo property but only with the portability and freedom of the Nintendo Switch have I actually got around to playing it. Okay, it’s not perfect and some quality of life patches which modders have created for the PC version aren’t available, but the fact that I can lay on my couch, legs in the air and headphones on and immerse myself in the world of dragons, vampires and mages has drawn me in. I have the PS4 with God of War, Horizon Zero Dawn, Spiderman and a few other titles stored but it’s been all about Skyrim for me!

This is not to say that other video games are hard to find here in Saudi Arabia. Having been here for several weeks now, I can state that video games are definitely available and haven’t been restricted, at least from what I can see. I went to the Sony Store in a shopping centre and saw God of War heavily promoted with cracking GOW omega logo t-shirt; this was not what I had expected in a land apparently not big on visual entertainment and technology. So it seems that video games are here to stay for me and I look forward to many more years of uninterrupted gaming!

LINK- An English Geek in Saudi Arabia

LINK: Japan: My Journey to the East

LINK- Battle Angel Alita: And So It Ends

LINK- The Moomins 80's Soundtrack Vinyl Review

LINK- The Mysterious Cities of Gold Retro Soundtrack Review

LINK- Akira Soundtrack Vinyl Review

LINK- Manga Exhibition at the British Museum