It had been a crazy few weeks at school here in Riyadh. Since we’d come back from the Christmas holidays we hadn’t had a break. Last week we had an off timetable week at school, which was really tough on Jeannie and I, as we had to organise lots of ‘hand-on’ activities for our ‘Week Without Walls’. It was great fun but exhausting and when paired with having to complete progress reports too, well, we thought we deserved a break. Luckily, we had a long weekend penned on our calendar and so for our 3 day weekend we decided to go back to Bahrain for some sun, sand (beachside) and Shirley Temples.
We were adamant that this time we would enjoy ourselves and not worry about the money and so this time we decided to drive there instead of flying, that way we wouldn't be spending £600 or so on flights for just 3 days and the spirit of Greta Thunberg wouldn't be haunting me.
Rightly so making us answerable for the future generations. Well done Greta!
The problem was that our car was a bit on a banger and there was no guarantee that it would make the 900km or so round trip. The dehydrated urine-like colour of our car was indicative of its quality and worth but we wanted a break out of Saudi and so we had to trust in the Gods that we would make it in one piece. And thus started our first leg of the 473 km journey across Arabia towards Bahrain.
We departed at 5:30am on the Friday morning, the start of the Islamic weekend, to beat the traffic we knew would build up. We knew that the journey would take about 5 hours in total and once out of Riyadh it would be one motorway all the way there, easy right?
Sunrise in the desert was beautiful.
Well, it didn't start too well. After just 45 minutes on the road, Leela did a vomit of quaranic proportions. I mean we had to stop at a drive-through McDonald's carpark, strip her off completely, throw the clothes in the bin, wipe her down with a pack of wipes, clean the vom off the car seat as best we could, place a towel on the car seat for Leela to sit on for the rest of the journey and redress her again. Bless her, she was a trooper and seemed to feel a lot better after that but the car stank of bile for the rest of the 5 hours so we drove with the windows down for the rest of the journey.
To brighten the mood we decide to play some music but the only thing we had in the car was the Disney Christmas CD. As we committed sacrilege by playing the Christmas CD, we drove through the beautiful Arabian desert. We passed camels, random towns, oasises (oasi-ed?) as Goofy sung in his dulcet tones about his jingle bells. I can honestly say that it was one of the most surreal experiences in my life and I remember thinking, the Lord wouldn't smite us would he?
As we drove on, we went past some burnt out cars and a deserted half built hotel with a rusty old ferris wheel in the middle of the desert which wouldn't look out of place in a horror film. Also we encountered a plague of locusts. I know many people may think that I'm exaggerating but I have video and photographic evidence of these events… the camera never lies… except when it uses filters, photoshop or other image editing software.
When we got to Bahrain we were so happy that we had made it- I said a quick dua in thanks for our safe if harrowing journey. Oh, to be in a place where road signs were followed and traffic lights were not a suggestion but enforced by law. Bliss!
We got to the hotel and had a wonderful day frolicking by the beach and sipping on our drinks. By 6:30pm we were all knackered and went to bed super early. It had been an eventful day and I think we were all glad that we had made it to the end of it. I went to bed watching Bird Box as I needed something light to end my day on.
The next day, Jeannie suggested we visit a local Hindu temple which was famed for its beauty. Anyone who knows my wife knows that she likes all things Indian, except me, her British-Pakistani hubby, so this was a must for her. So kids in tow, we got in a cab ready to culture it up. We were initially taken to the wrong temple but after some Google mapping and translating we arrived at the right place. We walked through some narrow streets that contained shops that reminded me of Green Street, East Ham but it was much cleaner, so like Southall but better.
When we found the temple it was undergoing some major renovations and whilst we were waiting to go in Leela had that look on her face that told Jeannie and I that there was a present in her nappy. Jeannie took her to the toilets and I chilled with Jasmine, passing the time by answering questions like "Why is God blue?" (she saw a giant photo of him and he was blue), "Why does he have an elephant head?" (Ganesh statue nearby) and "I like the praying in Saudi and God is in the sky but why is Jesus a baby?" So very interesting questions that would take a while to unpack but as Jeannie and Leela were taking a while unpack we did... To be honest I think I'd have preferred to be cleaning up Leela! These are difficult questions to answer without brainwashing a child into a certain doctrine or closing her down with my views and opinions.
After some time, Jeannie appeared looking shell-shocked and with a large suspicious stain on her top. "We have to go, Leela did a massive leaky poo and it went everywhere including my top. We can't go into the temple like this" she informed me. And so, our temple visit was cut short due to a number 2; Leela was really on form this holiday. As we walked back to the cab rank we bought garlands of jasmine to cover the pooey smell and some vittles for our forthcoming return trip.
The rest of the day was spent by the side of the pool in the hotel complex, eating pizza and ordering drinks. It’s a tough life!
That night we decided to go to the fancy on the river seafood restaurant. It did an all you can eat £30 buffet and had crab, mussels, calamari and a smorgasbord of fish cooked to order. We had a great time as a load of our teacher colleagues met up and the kids were running around, having the time of their lives.
At 8pm the kids were getting tired so we decided to leave and it was at this point that Leela projectile vomited near the fancy water fountain near the entrance of the restaurant. The staff were super kind and efficient as they mopped up and checked after our daughter. We got her to bed and she had a fitful sleep sleeping between Jeannie and I.
On the morning of our departure and 473km journey back to the Kingdom, we all ate a very light breakfasts and girded our loins for what promised to be an interesting journey, but y’know what? It actually went smoothly. The girls slept most of the way, there wasn't much traffic and the drivers weren’t too bad.
On the border I was quickly let through as for once racial profiling worked FOR me and I wasn't 'randomly selected' by my Muslim brethren. The only squeaky bum moment we had on the journey back was when the petrol was running low and I thought we'd have to depend on the kindness of strangers but might end up in a Wolf Creek type situation but luckily we found a petrol station just as the needle hit the last notch before empty.
Oh, we also found the most random McDonald's ever. It was about 250 km out from Riyadh and there were no cities or towns nearby. My immediate thoughts were why build it here, that's a heck of a commute for the workers there and is the breakfast still on? It was and I had a nice chat to the staff who seemed happy to talk to anyone, even though I only wanted to use the toilet and was being polite.
Seriously, this Maccies was miles from anywhere!
We also encountered the swarm of locusts again but they were much diminished and there were only a few of them flying around aimlessly, looking for food to plunder. I should have told them about the Maccies down the road...
So, we got home safe and sound and settled down for the afternoon. To de-stress and recover from the 5 hour drive I went to relax in the sauna, that same sauna that Jeannie had bought me a subscription to after our first Bahrain trip. Whilst in there I got reflecting.
Overall this was a successful trip and I thoroughly enjoyed it all. The misadventures will become the stuff of legend in our family I’m sure and adds to the crazy tapestry of our life. Our wonderful champagne coloured car had served us well and for that we were grateful.
We are hoping to go back to Bahrain again soon and hope third time’s the charm!
LINK- The Further Adventures of Anjum of Arabia in Saudi
LINK- High Tea and High Times in the Riyadh Globe
LINK- Reflecting on Life in Saudi Arabia After 5 Months
LINK- Life in Saudi Arabia 3 Month On