Flying Home From Coronavirus

With the school year almost over here in Saudi and the lockdown in the country meaning most of the facilities are closed for the foreseeable future, we had a tough decision to make:

1) Stay here in the relative safety of the compound and hope the facilities open up for our kids, who were going nuts and struggling in the heat which is due to get to 50 degrees soon, or

2) Fly home back to England with the highest death rate in Europe and hunker down in isolation in a granny flat in the in-laws garden.

Decisions, decisions.... but we decided on the latter as the promise of cooler climes, a change of scenery and access to a large garden was too tempting to pass up, especially if the lockdown was to continue for several more weeks.

Our two girls were done with Saudi as they couldn't do anything that they wanted to do, rightly so in the time of a pandemic, but when you are surrounded by beige constantly it gets you a little down. Behaviour and mental health become big factors and they were becoming more prominent as the 8 long weeks had dragged on. Our littlest barely wore clothes, which is no bad thing granted, but she also wasn’t being stimulated or entertained as both Jeannie and I worked on our Distance Learning plans and had limited activities and resources to occupy our children and keep them engaged. We had reached a plateau.

So, we bit the bullet and booked flights home for May 8th 2020 on a Saudia flight to Heathrow. Our plan was to get to London, pick up the rental car and drive down to Devon where we had our home base.

Packing up was interesting as we are hoping to come back to school but are not sure if we'll be allowed to fly back in August or even if we'll have jobs as the international teaching scene is very volatile at the moment with worries about numbers dropping in enrolments due to the worldwide economic slowdown and the oil price crash, which is a big factor here in Saudi. We packed the essentials and valuable but left much of our belongings in Riyadh, hoping to return to finish our second year or failing that, to return our school laptops and collect our personal possessions before deciding what to do next.

A few days before going to the airport we had to fill in an online form to be allowed to break curfew to get to the airport, it was a long process as the website was janky and kicked me out several times. However to travel without the document meant you could be fined up to £200, 000 or face jail time, shizzle just got real indeed! When the King orders a lockdown here, he means business and there's no flip-flopping.

And so, with the travel documents in tow we went to the airport and what struck me was how quiet it all was. Now Riyadh is not a massive hub like Dubai or Kuala Lumpur but it is quite busy generally but today it looked desolate, like a shopping centre on a midweek afternoon. It was so quiet that we were able to park up outside the terminal, a rare situation indeed. So, with masks covering our faces, gloves on and a change of clothes for when we got to the other side we went in and got checked in and through security within 10 minutes, a new record for us.

In Departures what struck me was the sheer sense of desolation. All duty free shops were closed and there was the solitary coffee vendor selling just 3 options of coffee, all with no syrup... This was lean fare indeed.

Markers on the floor demarcate 2 metres.

Markers on the floor demarcate 2 metres.

Walking to the Departures gate the usual suspects of travelers, serious business people, the loved up couples, the weekenders, the solo backpacker and the pilgrims were nowhere to be seen. Instead we simply had families trying to make their way home, carrying a couple of suitcases and car seats. Everyone was wearing masks and many wore gloves. It felt strange as in the compound we had been sheltered from much of this but now here it was, front and centre... This pandemic is changing the world and re-moulding it, into what? We don't know and won't know for a while but hopefully some good will come out of this tragedy which has claimed so many lives.

The queue for the London flight was crazy long and social distancing frequently went out of the window.

The queue for the London flight was crazy long and social distancing frequently went out of the window.

When it was time to join the queue for the flight I was surprised by how many people came out of the woodwork, the flight to London was pretty packed after all! People had social distanced but when it was the time to go, boy did they come together, funneling through the security checks (again). The close proximity to others continued for the duration of the journey as the plane is by design narrow and confined so there is no way you have have the designated two or so metres apart. However, to Saudia's credit, they gave everyone a pack of hand sanitizer, antibacterial wipes and tissues and sprayed the cabin with some insecticide. The food was packaged cheese and turkey ham sandwiches and a small bottle of orange juice, not great but enough to suffice for the 6 and a half hour journey. With masks constantly on our faces and copious amounts of antibac applied regularly we got closer to home.

The goody bag from Saudia was useful and practical to keep the virus at bay. Photo courtesy of Andy ‘Bowling King’ Thiel.

The goody bag from Saudia was useful and practical to keep the virus at bay. Photo courtesy of Andy ‘Bowling King’ Thiel.

All in all, it was a good a journey as could be expected but once the plane landed and the seat-belt sign went off, people went feral as always, rushing to get their bags and bunching together, impatient to get off. Bang went the social distancing that had been so rigidly followed...

Upon arriving at Heathrow terminal what stood out was how almost everyone was wearing a mask, but once we left the airport and stated our long journey to Devon, I saw few people wearing them. We picked up our rental car and Jeannie drove the whole way, we did the journey in just under 3 hours, it usually takes about 4 and a half hours, the traffic was non-existent!

Once we entered Devon it felt wonderful to be back, the fresh air, the verdant green grass and gorgeous vespertine river; it was good to be home! We got out of our clothes, had a shower and donned our masks to greet the family from afar and enter quarantine fo two weeks.

Shaldon really is stunning… the colours children, the colours!

Shaldon really is stunning… the colours children, the colours!

This is where I would probably end my story usually but a comedy of errors occurred the next day as we sought to return our rental car to Exeter and I feel the need to share it with you all as it was a comedy of errors.

Jeannie was going to drive the rental car and I would take my mother-in-laws cool Honda Jazz to pick Jeannie up after the drop-off. The Jazz hadn't been run in a while, due to my mother-in-law being quarantined as she is considered highly vulnerable, but the journey wasn't long so what could go wrong, right?

"It's not been run in a while so turn off the radio and other electronics" my mother-in-law warned me before I set off and I duly heeded her warning, making sure that just the essentials were running.

I put the location into Google Maps on my phone, which was freshly charged and showed 100%. Now I've had my Huawei P10 Lite for about 3 years, and over the past couple of weeks it's cut off randomly, saying it was out of power but the journey was only 20 mins or so, surely it could survive that… right?

So off we went, following each other when a giant delivery van came between us and I lost sight of Jeannie’s rental. No worries as I had my Huawei showing Google Maps, but then my mobile did the whole 'battery low' and shut down. Luckily, I caught sight of Jeannie's silver Kia and followed. "What luck" I thought as I got closer. We approached a roundabout and I followed the Kia to the 3rd exit, only for a car to beep me from behind as I exited the A road to gosh knows where. It was Jeannie… I had followed the wrong silver Kia and Jeannie had got off an exit earlier. I was on the adjacent road to where I wanted to be!

So, I was driving down an A road, going in the wrong direction with no idea where I was going apart from the general direction of Exeter.

I drove for about 15 mins until there was a suitable place to park and gather my thoughts. I turned off the engine to look through the glove compartment to see if there was an actual sat nav and there was! Oh mercy of mercies, thank you Jeebers I thought! However, when I turned the ignition nothing happened. The words my mother-in-laws had uttered echoed in my ears.

The car had packed up.

Bugger!

So there I was, stuck in the car park of a roadside diner which was closed, with a car that wouldn't work but the electrics would, and a phone that was dead. I surveyed my surrounding and saw a Texaco on the other side of a dual carriageway and knew that they'd have phone chargers. Maybe my phone would work if plugged in, retro style?

So, feeling like a right scally, I crossed the dual carriageways and bought a micro USB-C cable, a cable of which I have about 10 at home. Wire in tow I went back to the car, plugged it in, phoned an exasperated Jeannie and told her what had happened.

Then, just to chance it I tried the engine once more and it sprung to life. It seemed like my luck was turning around and boy was I thankful. After that it all went smoothly and I picked up Jeannie from the rental place. So all’s well that ends well.

On the way back to our beachside cottage I got to a thinking; I've had the privilege and opportunity to travel by air many times but I wonder how much longer the jet set lifestyle, budget weekend fares to Europe and summer holidays to the Med. will continue. When the world does start up again things are going to change and they should do as life as it stood wasn’t sustainable for us or for the planet.

To quote something I read once but can't for the life of me attribute or credit:
Humanity thrives on forward momentum, on the sense that we are improving: becoming better, smarter, deeper and more understanding and knowledgeable as a species. We must look forward and walk the path of hope, trusting that it sustains us when the darkness comes... As it inevitably will. It may have been a difficult year for many but let's walk forward in hope...

And at least 2 metres apart… Avoiding the flat earthers and MAGA diehards….

LINK- One Month on From Social Distancing in Saudi

LINK- Life in Coronavirus Lockdown Saudi

LINK- Life in the Times of the Coronavirus

LINK- Bahrain II: The Revenge

LINK- The Further Adventures of Anjum of Arabia in Saudi

LINK- High Tea and High Times in the Riyadh Globe

LINK- Reflecting on Life in Saudi Arabia After 5 Months

LINK- Life in Saudi Arabia 3 Month On

LINK- An English Geek in Saudi Arabia

LINK- Video Gaming In Saudi Arabia

Bahrain II: The Revenge

It had been a crazy few weeks at school here in Riyadh. Since we’d come back from the Christmas holidays we hadn’t had a break. Last week we had an off timetable week at school, which was really tough on Jeannie and I, as we had to organise lots of ‘hand-on’ activities for our ‘Week Without Walls’. It was great fun but exhausting and when paired with having to complete progress reports too, well, we thought we deserved a break. Luckily, we had a long weekend penned on our calendar and so for our 3 day weekend we decided to go back to Bahrain for some sun, sand (beachside) and  Shirley Temples.

We were adamant that this time we would enjoy ourselves and not worry about the money and so this time we decided to drive there instead of flying, that way we wouldn't be spending £600 or so on flights for just 3 days and the spirit of Greta Thunberg wouldn't be haunting me.

Rightly so making us answerable for the future generations. Well done Greta!

Rightly so making us answerable for the future generations. Well done Greta!

The problem was that our car was a bit on a banger and there was no guarantee that it would make the 900km or so round trip. The dehydrated urine-like colour of our car was indicative of its quality and worth but we wanted a break out of Saudi and so we had to trust in the Gods that we would make it in one piece. And thus started our first leg of the 473 km journey across Arabia towards Bahrain.

We departed at 5:30am on the Friday morning, the start of the Islamic weekend, to beat the traffic we knew would build up. We knew that the journey would take about 5 hours in total and once out of Riyadh it would be one motorway all the way there, easy right?

Sunrise in the desert was beautiful.

Sunrise in the desert was beautiful.

Well, it didn't start too well. After just 45 minutes on the road, Leela did a vomit of quaranic proportions. I mean we had to stop at a drive-through McDonald's carpark, strip her off completely, throw the clothes in the bin, wipe her down with a pack of wipes, clean the vom off the car seat as best we could, place a towel on the car seat for Leela to sit on for the rest of the journey and redress her again. Bless her, she was a trooper and seemed to feel a lot better after that but the car stank of bile for the rest of the 5 hours so we drove with the windows down for the rest of the journey.

To brighten the mood we decide to play some music but the only thing we had in the car was the Disney Christmas CD. As we committed sacrilege by playing the Christmas CD, we drove through the beautiful Arabian desert. We passed camels, random towns, oasises (oasi-ed?) as Goofy sung in his dulcet tones about his jingle bells. I can honestly say that it was one of the most surreal experiences in my life and I remember thinking, the Lord wouldn't smite us would he?

As we drove on, we went past some burnt out cars and a deserted half built hotel with a rusty old ferris wheel in the middle of the desert which wouldn't look out of place in a horror film. Also we encountered a plague of locusts. I know many people may think that I'm exaggerating but I have video and photographic evidence of these events… the camera never lies… except when it uses filters, photoshop or other image editing software.

When we got to Bahrain we were so happy that we had made it- I said a quick dua in thanks for our safe if harrowing journey. Oh, to be in a place where road signs were followed and traffic lights were not a suggestion but enforced by law. Bliss!

We got to the hotel and had a wonderful day frolicking by the beach and sipping on our drinks. By 6:30pm we were all knackered and went to bed super early. It had been an eventful day and I think we were all glad that we had made it to the end of it. I went to bed watching Bird Box as I needed something light to end my day on.

The next day, Jeannie suggested we visit a local Hindu temple which was famed for its beauty. Anyone who knows my wife knows that she likes all things Indian, except me, her British-Pakistani hubby, so this was a must for her. So kids in tow, we got in a cab ready to culture it up. We were initially taken to the wrong temple but after some Google mapping and translating we arrived at the right place. We walked through some narrow streets that contained shops that reminded me of Green Street, East Ham but it was much cleaner, so like Southall but better.

When we found the temple it was undergoing some major renovations and whilst we were waiting to go in Leela had that look on her face that told Jeannie and I that there was a present in her nappy. Jeannie took her to the toilets and I chilled with Jasmine, passing the time by answering questions like "Why is God blue?" (she saw a giant photo of him and he was blue), "Why does he have an elephant head?" (Ganesh statue nearby) and "I like the praying in Saudi and God is in the sky but why is Jesus a baby?" So very interesting questions that would take a while to unpack but as Jeannie and Leela were taking a while unpack we did... To be honest I think I'd have preferred to be cleaning up Leela! These are difficult questions to answer without brainwashing a child into a certain doctrine or closing her down with my views and opinions.

After some time, Jeannie appeared looking shell-shocked and with a large suspicious stain on her top. "We have to go, Leela did a massive leaky poo and it went everywhere including my top. We can't go into the temple like this" she informed me. And so, our temple visit was cut short due to a number 2; Leela was really on form this holiday. As we walked back to the cab rank we bought garlands of jasmine to cover the pooey smell and some vittles for our forthcoming return trip.

The rest of the day was spent by the side of the pool in the hotel complex, eating pizza and ordering drinks. It’s a tough life!

That night we decided to go to the fancy on the river seafood restaurant. It did an all you can eat £30 buffet and had crab, mussels, calamari and a smorgasbord of fish cooked to order. We had a great time as a load of our teacher colleagues met up and the kids were running around, having the time of their lives.

At 8pm the kids were getting tired so we decided to leave and it was at this point that Leela projectile vomited near the fancy water fountain near the entrance of the restaurant. The staff were super kind and efficient as they mopped up and checked after our daughter. We got her to bed and she had a fitful sleep sleeping between Jeannie and I.

On the morning of our departure and 473km journey back to the Kingdom, we all ate a very light breakfasts and girded our loins for what promised to be an interesting journey, but y’know what? It actually went smoothly. The girls slept most of the way, there wasn't much traffic and the drivers weren’t too bad.

On the border I was quickly let through as for once racial profiling worked FOR me and I wasn't 'randomly selected' by my Muslim brethren. The only squeaky bum moment we had on the journey back was when the petrol was running low and I thought we'd have to depend on the kindness of strangers but might end up in a Wolf Creek type situation but luckily we found a petrol station just as the needle hit the last notch before empty.

Oh, we also found the most random McDonald's ever. It was about 250 km out from Riyadh and there were no cities or towns nearby. My immediate thoughts were why build it here, that's a heck of a commute for the workers there and is the breakfast still on? It was and I had a nice chat to the staff who seemed happy to talk to anyone, even though I only wanted to use the toilet and was being polite.

Seriously, this Maccies was miles from anywhere!

Seriously, this Maccies was miles from anywhere!

We also encountered the swarm of locusts again but they were much diminished and there were only a few of them flying around aimlessly, looking for food to plunder. I should have told them about the Maccies down the road...

So, we got home safe and sound and settled down for the afternoon. To de-stress and recover from the 5 hour drive I went to relax in the sauna, that same sauna that Jeannie had bought me a subscription to after our first Bahrain trip. Whilst in there I got reflecting.

Overall this was a successful trip and I thoroughly enjoyed it all. The misadventures will become the stuff of legend in our family I’m sure and adds to the crazy tapestry of our life. Our wonderful champagne coloured car had served us well and for that we were grateful.

We are hoping to go back to Bahrain again soon and hope third time’s the charm!

LINK- The Further Adventures of Anjum of Arabia in Saudi

LINK- High Tea and High Times in the Riyadh Globe

LINK- Reflecting on Life in Saudi Arabia After 5 Months

LINK- Life in Saudi Arabia 3 Month On

LINK- An English Geek in Saudi Arabia

LINK- Video Gaming In Saudi Arabia

High Tea and High Times at the Riyadh Globe

A couple of weeks ago I ‘celebrated’ my 39th birthday. I say celebrated but it was a weird one to be honest. My lovely wife had signed us both up for the school staff talent show a few weeks ago. She put us in for the Bollywood dancing, just to buck the stereotype, but then got shy after a couple of sessions and bailed leaving me in the group. I felt guilty as the numbers in the group were low so I stayed and on my birthday I performed on a proper stage to a paying audience of 750 school parents, pupils and peers in the evening. It was a great experience and I had a lot of fun but it wasn’t what I would have planned to do on my birthday. When the show had finished it was quite late-ish so I went home and went to bed. So yeah, a weird but memorable birthday for sure.

The cakes and snacks on offer were wonderful.

I think my wife was feeling guilty as later on that week she WhatApped our friends and arranged a fancy high tea at the Al Faisaliah Tower in Riyadh. For people not in the know, which I’m guessing is pretty much everyone as it’s not that famous a building outside of Riyadh, the tower is a giant pyramid with a globe stuck in near the top. It’s a beautiful but unconventional looking building, but what it promises is an unrivaled 360 degree view of the city and a perfect place to view the sunset whilst eating delicious food. So, what’s not to like, eh?

Well, after navigating the nightmarish roadworks that had blocked off most of the access points to the area we arrived at the front of the tower. A valet offered to park the Kia next to the latest, shiniest BMWs, Bentleys and Bugattis and I knew then that these were my people and I’d fit riiiiight in…

Entering the tower with my helium filled Elmo birthday balloon, we stepped onto the red carpet and I felt every bit the star my mother thinks I am. Maybe they’d heard about my amazing turn at the Staff Talent Show? We went through the x-ray tunnel and metal detector and my balloon was confiscated. Elmo is a code red apparently, or maybe they don’t want people to get high off the helium.

We then entered a cylindrical lift that felt like something out of a James Bond villains lair, all glass and chrome. A dapper concierge swiped his special card to allow the lift to move. We then met another concierge half way up and he swiped his special card to allow us further up into the building, into the plush lounge area. I thought that at the next stop I’d have to give a stool sample, shed some blood or sacrifice a lamb to be allowed in but luckily that was not required as we were finally there.

The panoramic view was instantly amazing. The sun shone on the Kingdom Tower which stood right in front of us; a bottle opener shaped building created by an architect with a ‘dry’ sense of humour! The other towering skyscrapers loomed large and the Mondrian-like grid road system was clear for all to see. The view was breathtaking and well worth the price of the 35 quid admission.

As we settled into our chairs, the waiting staff filed our glasses with fizzy water and loaded the table with serving towers laden with a selection of cakes, scones, chocolates, blinis (that’s small pancakes with fancy toppings) and savoury amuse-bouches (that’s small fancy food that tastes delicious). I was impressed as the food was scrumpdiddlyumptious but there were no cucumber, egg and cress or salmon paste finger sandwiches in sight. Worse still you had to go make your own tea! Well, that’s just not cricket is it? In all fairness they did have a tea caddy area with proper posh tea in their own linen-type teabags and a hot water urn but it felt weird making my own tea at a high tea.

However, this was more than made up by the fact that they had an international buffet going on. There was food from Japan; sushi, China; spring rolls, India; samosas and Germany; some savoury pastries and cookies. There was also a pimp chocolate fountain with a variety of foods and fruits you could skewer. So all in all, a very good variety of food that catered for all needs… except for those who like vegetables. It was a very beige tea, which I don’t mind on occasion, but for those wanting a rainbow plate of food jog on son…

So, as the sun set over the 3 or so hours we were there, my friends and I enjoyed the magnificent sunset and ate our fill. There were lots of laughs and lively discussions about work and life in Riyadh. My daughters loved the whole thing and ate their fill of chocolate covered fruit and marshmallow. The staff were very sweet and attentive and my daughters danced, ate and made friends with some of the other kids there.

The time whizzed by and by 6pm we bid a fond adieu to the place and made our way back downstairs, collecting the Elmo balloon on the way.

I have to say that my wife outdid herself by arranging this. Now I have to think of a way to repay her on her birthday. Maybe I’ll book her in for a standup session at the local comedy bar and then take her for a fancy Indian meal after… I’ve got a few months to figure out how to make her birthday as memorable as mine was with a sucker punch of an event first and then a sweetener.

LINK- Reflecting on Life in Saudi Arabia After 5 Months

LINK- Life in Saudi Arabia 3 Month On

LINK- An English Geek in Saudi Arabia

LINK- Video Gaming In Saudi Arabia