Okay, I've joined the fray- after the usual flurry of end of year gaming reflections there's the typical 'looking to the year ahead' SEO thing, and I'm no different so here's my version of that, strictly tongue in cheek mind. Now, no-one can predict exactly what is going to happen but why let that stand in the way of an article? Let me gird me loins and let's get cracking.
In January, I abstain from any form of videogaming and usually catch up on the books, comics, graphic novels, podcasts, films and TV series that I've been meaning to get to but haven't. It has been building up quite a lot after the Summer holidays last year, where I went on a massive reading binge whilst in Cape Verde for the week and inhaled a load of books.
I read through a lot but this January my plan is to go through this lot... I'm sure I'd have a good old go and finish a lot though so I've probably bought more by the end if the month and given myself another huge to do list... Anything to ignore the fact that life is entropy and we are all slowly one step closer to death. Ahem. Onwards!
So, February will see me hitting the games big time. Catching up on this sweet stash. Finally I'll finish Mario Wonder and pause to think what the mustachiod err wonder will do next. Also, I'd have bought the Another Code: Remake Collection, which would have come out on Jan 19th, and will lose my mind over how they translate *that* puzzle which used the reflective power of the DS screens.
Final Fantasy Rebirth will also come out at the end of the month but the £70 price tag won't sit right with me so I'll probably get it near the tail end of the year, after the hype and zeitgeist has worn off and get it at the second hand or sale price of about £30. That and I still have FF7: Crisis Core Reunion to finish off.
This is my ‘to do’ list.
I'm sure by the time March hits there'll be loads of games in my digital store and pile from the sales where I would have scooped them up. Heaven's Vault, a game I bought over 3 years ago on the Switch will have to wait, yet again... alas.
Summer will brig the release of Llamasoft: A Jeff Minter Joint-a film about the singular Jeff Minter. I love the games the guy makes and, with the exception of Tetsuya Mizuguchi, the only guy who really gets synaesthesia in the game space.
PlayStation Foamstars will come out, riding in the coattails of Splatoon but, like PlayStation All Stars compared to Smash Bros, will lack the charm, finesse and flair. I predict it will be short lived and by Winter, we will hear of a dwindling player base numbering in the tens.
By now, Switch 2 model predictions would have gone nuts. I'm guessing that it won't start too far from the current model but will be higher powered, more like a PS4, but it will have the ability to play a screen on the TV but have the pad play as the touch control screen like we had in the DS and 3DS- this would allow Nintendo to port over or virtual store hundreds of old DS and 3DS games onto the library.
I would have pre-ordered one as Nintendo casually announce it in a Direct whilst I'm teaching in class. Game will have one and I will reorder but the gits will let me down (yet again) as they can't fulfill the order... sods!
The Autumn season will see the release of the Elden Ring DLC and, as usual, the totally rational and not at least elitist Git Gud crew will discuss the merits of having a rock hard game which doesn't take into account accessibility needs. This conversation will be coherent, logical and not in any way excluding to those who are colour blind, have difficulties with gross motor control or are women. I will buy it of course and love it with all my heart as Elden Ring is my most played game ever with 168 hours of play.
To coincide with Halloween, Silent Hill 2 will be released to much disappointment as all that made the game a masterpiece will be removed. Fog? Gone as now we can see where we are going! Nuanced writing? Gone as AI made the whole endeavour cheaper and better! It will also have DLC where James can wear amazing hats and you can buy different shapes heads for Pyramid Head... Dodecahedron Head? Sign me up!
The year will be peppered with AI, NFT and Games As a Service nonsense and when it doesn't work out, executives will say targets have not been met, award themselves huge pay rises and deals and sack a lot of the workers who actually produce the work. The whole failing upwards trend will continue.
The next Ubi sandbox game is released and, in a surprise move that astounds everyone, has even more icon splooged nonsense it has an over and underworld as well as a usual map: that's three layers of icon filled definitely essential to story beats and not time wasting nonsense. They have played Zelda: TOTK and have learned the lessons built on from that Zelda-like Greek gods themed Immortals: Fenyx Rising.
Also, COD is announced by Activision and in no way consistent with real world politics features a story containing an entirely fictional country called Falestine where the evil women and children must be killed for some totally legit reasons. It will take into account complex legalese framework to sympathetically put geopolitical questions under a microscope… psych! It’ll be the usual ‘do this and shoot that POC.’
Overall, I'm looking forward to the year ahead and predict it will be amazing. I don't foresee Silksong and Metroid 4 coming out but look forward to all the Nintendo Directs and the other not-E3 shows getting blasted for the fact, even though no-one announced a date for either game.