Ultimate Teacher- Cult Manga Review

Remember those dusty anime OVAs lurking on the shelves of video stores back in the day? The ones with dodgy cover art and the promise of mature themes? Well, I finally succumbed to the siren call of Ultimate Teacher, an hour-long OVA I'd seen countless times on the shelves of Rodney’s Books and Games but never dared to watch… until now. And boy, was it an experience.

This was where I would get my comics, manga, anime and videogames from back in the 90s and 00s.

The premise is gloriously bonkers: Ganpachi, a cockroach/human hybrid (yes, you read that right), escapes a gene-splicing lab and becomes the ‘Ultimate Teacher’ at a rundown high school. His dictatorial methods don't sit well with the delinquent students, who try to bring him down with the help of Himako and her…lucky velvet underpants. Yes, you read that right too. These underpants grant her super strength. Don't ask.

Even the cover looks dodgy…

What follows is a chaotic mess of fighting, hip thrusts (so many hip thrusts), and a desperate search for said lucky undergarments. It's cringeworthy, it's ridiculous, and yet… I couldn't look away.

Surprisingly, the OVA boasts some serious pedigree, including Toyoo Ashida of Fist of the North Star fame. What drew him to this project, I'll never know. The animation is… well, it exists. But the real star of the show is the hilariously janky English dub. The over-the-top voice acting and exaggerated accents elevate the absurdity to almost comedic levels.

Ultimate Teacher is by no means a good OVA as it's cheesy, exploitative and downright bizarre. However, if you're looking for a dose of that sweet, sweet "so bad it's almost good" anime, and you have a high tolerance for cringe, then this might just be worth a watch. Just don't expect Shakespeare is all!

2001 Nights - Cult Manga Review

I have a strange connections to The Songs of Distant Earth as it has wend its way through my life. I read the book during my formative tween years and enjoyed Arthur X. Clark's vision of man's journey to the stars. Also, I loved Mike Oldfield's album and it is probably my most listened to album as it helped me with my sleep routine during my long bouts of insomnia. I also picked up Yukinobu Hoshino's 2001 Nights graphic novel series way back in the late 90s sometime from my local comic shop. I think it was one of their grab bags I picked up that contained a couple of the books so I collected the lot in one fell swoop. It was hard sci-fi and I loved the various tales of people travelling to the stars and finding a place to call their own.

I didn't know that there was an animation but discovered it by chance through falling down the YouTube rabbit hole. I thought I'd give it a go and was pleasantly surprised that it had been translated pretty well into an animation as Hoshino's work is very precise with lots of technobabble, both real and imagined.

The 57 minute animation is split into three interconnected stories which each takes place over a different period of time.

The Seeds of Earth- An adult couple, the Robinson, make the difficult decision to  leave Earth and board a shuttle and that will use the power of a comet to take them outside the solar system. They will take with them a bank of sperm and eggs to create children that will seed their new home, whatever that may be. After 300 years they finally make landfall and settle on their new home, Ozma.

This is a prophetic tale of people truly looking outwards and looking to settle amongst the stars. The difficulties of keeping the spacecraft ship shape is shown and losing children due to fever and disease is shared but the spirit of human endeavour is shown with real passion here.

A Present From Earth- When a 10th planet is discovered, the scientists call it Lucifer. That's not foreshadowing anything right? Well, the planet is resource rich and contains dark matter that can be used to create wormhole that allows hyperspace travel. With the entire universe at its feet, man travels to new planets and starts to terraform apace including Planet Ozma which the Robinsons are headed to. This tale looks at how corporations have to consider the industrial and financial implications of such large scale projects and what they do when things don't go to plan.

Songs of a Distant Earth- The space age is in decline as Earth looks to protect and maintain it's own. Meanwhile, on Planet Ozma, the children of the Robinsons live in  harmony with each other and the planet. However, when people from Earth come along looking to settle after ruining their homeworld a tale of conflict starts.

I really enjoyed this OVA as it covers a lot of heady hard sci-fi ground in a intriguing way. Sure, the animation isn't of the quality of the manga but Yukinobu Hoshino is very precise and meticulous and reproducing this in animated form would require a much larger budget than I assume this production was given. Still, the vision and ideas flow through and, even with its issues, I can heartily recommend this slice of hard sci-fi. I hope more people discover this work as its very prescient of where we are headed with Space X, Virgin Galactic and whatnot.