My girls are growing up and time seems to be moving quickly. In the words of the great Ferris Bueller, "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” My wife is working full time in her job and so, for the first time ever, I'm the main caregiver: this means having A LOT of time with my kids. Now, don't get me wrong... I'm loving it but it also means I'm seeing them grow and develop their own interested and personalities in intense detail. We’ve had lots of bonding moments over gaming including during our playthroughs of Mario 3D World, Mario Kart 8, Yoshi's Wooly World, Kirby and the Forgotten Land, Alba and Switch Sports.
They grow up so fast and I want this quality time with them, it's not the game per se as much as it's a chance for us to have fun, communicate and, on occasion, trash talk each other.
Recently, my eldest has made it a bit of a habit to watch me play games whilst the youngest is asleep and my wife is out. She says it's relaxing and helps her feel calm. During these sessions I've played Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom and Dordogne, quite relaxed games with a lot of reading. I'll read the text in funny accents so she doesn't miss out and usually she falls asleep whilst I'm gaming; these have been lovely bonding moments.
My girls are also into graphic novels with Jasmine (the elder) having read all of the Lumberjanes series (that's 23 graphic novels), Hilda (6 graphic novels) and all of Raina Telgemier's books and some other young kids appropriate books. They've also watched the whole Hilda series, Carmen Sandiego and are getting into the new She-Ra series, all shows I've watched and loved but they've discovered it in their own time.
We've also had some quite existential questions coming up as my girls are starting to realise their role in the wider world. This has led to some discussions about faith and their own path. As I'm a cis male my life experiences, life choices and chances are different so even though I can empathise and sympathise I haven't walked in those shoes so I've been listening to lots of audiobook and podcasts to get a deeper understanding. Over the past year, I’ve listened to a lot of autobiographies and podcasts and learnt about the following:
Tegan and Sara- peer pressure, standards of beauty, drugs and alcohol.
Mel C- life goals, resilience, sexuality, the male gaze and social and mainstream media.
Cassandra Peterson (Elvira)- abuse and toxic masculinity
Mel B- dyslexia, toxic masculinity and abuse.
Abbi Jacobson- glass ceilings, toxic concepts of beauty and work pressure
Dear Koko- how to help your daughters grow and develop
Femina- Powerful women in Medieval history who have been erased from the public consciousness.
Michelle Zauner- the lives of POC in a country is conditional and not guaranteed.
Jenette McCurdy- peer pressure, standards of beauty, parental neglect and abuse.
Britney Spears- life goals, parental abuse and neglect, mental health, resilience, sexuality, the male gaze, social and mainstream media.
I have been playing lots of Jarre in the car with my daughters as my wife is working now, so I have to do a lot more school pickups, club drop offs and park and library runs. My youngest turned to me and said, "Dad, Jean Michel Jarre sounds a lot like Mysterious Cities of Gold" and I have to say, I've rarely been prouder. She is her dad's daughter.
Additionally, we all enjoy going to the arcades. Previously, the girls had only had a slight taste of the arcade experience at the piers with their limited range of games or at the Comic-con, where there were a few emulator systems and mini consoles. However, this changed when we went to a proper arcade called Boneyard in Exeter. We went for my birthday and we played for a couple of hours, enjoying Puzzle Bobble, Tempest 2000, Sega Rally, Asteroids, DDR, Art of Fighting, Galaga (Jasmine’s favourite) and many, many more!
To balance it out, I do want to state that I'm pushing my limits too, I've got an appreciation of Jojo Siwa's music, Kids Art Hub and random shells, sticks and stones. We often use Jojo's music as our 'tidying up before mum gets home' music and I have to say, the lyrics are proper girl power ish. The girls have also introduced me to Teen Titans Go, I knew of the series and had seen a few episodes here and there but for my girls it's a very formative cartoon that feeds into their personality and quirky sense of humour, especially Leela's which is more exuberant and wacky. Jasmine has a love for swingball and is actually really good at it, as is her trash talking. It's all very PG rated sick burns but gosh can the girl chat sass!
I hope my girls realise that they are interconnected, global citizens who are truly people of the world, with all the life choices and chances that provides. I hope they grow into informed and educated young people who are emotionally intelligent with a respect for all people. My wish is that they don’t realise that their life may be conditional due to their heritage; some people will bring this fact about when there are geopolitical, social and economic changes happening somewhere in the world over which they have no control. They may have a chance of ‘passing’ (to be mistaken to be ‘white’) but I hope they are proud of who and what they are and remain true to themselves.
LINK- ‘Natives: Race and Class in the Ruins of Empire’
LINK: Japan: My Journey to the East
LINK: Battle Angel Alita: And So It Ends
LINK: Fire Tripper: Cult Manga Review
LINK: Manga Exhibition at the British Museum
LINK: The Transportive Nature of Objects (And the Power of Mini Consoles)